Afterthought
by Myra921
Summary: She had always been an afterthought, quietly slipping into the background while he shined. But what happens when he's loved her his whole life and she's gotten too good at being alone?
1. Chapter 1

**BPOV**

 _She was an afterthought._

It was the only thought pounding through Bella's head as she ran through the twisting path. She ran through trees that towered above her, slender branches entangling together to form archways, leading her through the forest. The air was thick with the smell of wildflowers, and salt. The ocean glinting to the left, as she ran parallel to the shining waters. Her brown hair was sweaty, the thick chestnut hair pulled up in a messy bun that bounced as she ran.

 _Everyone would eventually move on without her._

She ran until her lungs were aching, her legs were burning and her mind wouldn't turn off. She veered left, onto a small trail overlooking the water and made her way to the giant rocks, choosing one to scramble up and sat for a moment.

There was something about the stillness, the peacefulness that wouldn't let Bella's brain stop torturing her. Her best friend had called her earlier that afternoon while she was making lunch. Words like _soulmate_ , and _best friend_ , _and love of her life_ had tumbled out of Alice's mouth so quickly that Bella could barely catch a breath. Alice had met someone, a him, in particular. His name was Jasper, and they had met in one of her science labs. And Bella was honestly thrilled. She couldn't be happier for Alice, but there was a tiny part of her that burned up with jealousy. With a loneliness that seemed to eat her alive. Why was it that she was always alone? Why did it seem like her two best friends could attract partners in life at every turn and she never quite managed to?

 _Her whole life she was always after. Never before._

She wasn't the kid that raced down the hill, headfirst on a toboggan. She was the girl standing there in the back, gnawing on her lip anxiously hoping everyone was alright. She was never the kid that scored the goal, but the one in defence, quietly stopping goals from being scored but never scoring them herself.

She was never last, far from it actually. Yet, she was never first, she was never in the centre of attention and she liked it that way. It's easy to hide in the shadows, in the background. There's a familiarity that spoke to her and enveloped her in its comfort. She thrived hidden in plain sight.

But she had hidden her whole life. She never threw herself into the centre of attention, but quietly excelled at everything she did. She was an excellent soccer player, an un-penetrable defensive player, but she hadn't scored a goal in years. She was an artist, not the best in her class- she didn't possess the talent or technical skill of Angela or Jessica, but while her pieces lacked in technique, they more than made up for in meaning. And while Edward was burning up the one night stands in his Volvo, and Alice was dating her way through the football team, she had never dated. All the way through high school and now she was in her senior year of college and she had never dated anyone. Hell, she was 22 years old and she had never been kissed. Edward and Alice knew, but it was a long time secret that seemed to slowly fade into time. Over the years she assumed that they had just forgotten, or were too polite to bring up.

Bella constantly wondered if there was something wrong with her. Maybe it was her curvy, athletic figure that was so far from thin? Or her plain, attention lacking face? Or maybe it was just her in general, her quiet ability to fade into the background. Whatever it was, had plagued her for 22 years and she didn't see that changing in the foreseeable future.

It wasn't that she hated being alone. It was quite the opposite actually. While Alice couldn't even take a walk by herself because she got bored, Bella was quite happy to be alone. She thrived in the stillness of being alone. She constantly did things alone, movies, dinners, runs, theatre shows… She did it all by herself. And she _liked_ being alone. She liked the solitude. She was _good_ at being alone. She excelled at it.

But maybe that's the problem. Maybe she was so good at being alone, that she forgot to look for somebody else.


	2. Chapter 2

**EPOV**

It had been six weeks since he had seen her.

 _Six weeks._

They had struggled through exams together, yelled and screamed at each other, and drank a ton (beer for him, and mojitos for her) to drown their sorrows over their marks. They left their third year of college best friends, and somehow he had let that all disappear. It had been days of rolling out of bed at the crack of dawn for work that turned into weeks and then somehow it had gotten to 42 days without talking to her.

He had never gone that long without hearing her voice.

Edward sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his unruly hair. He threw down his phone angrily onto his bed, the phone hardly making a dent in the thick comforter. Why wasn't Bella picking up the phone? She was always on her phone!

He contemplated running up towards her house, she only lived a couple minutes away. When they were little they practically lived at each other's houses, her little pigtails always seemed to be appearing around corners in his house, and his shoes were a permanent fixture on her doormat.

She was the lightness in his life. The good that counteracted all of his mischievous behaviours. With Bella by his side, Edward could get away with pretty much anything. Any sort of prank around town, if Bella was at the scene of the crime, she just had to bat her eyes and smile and all would be forgotten.

It was that smile that got him, that beautiful smile that made you feel like the only thing that mattered. It lit up her whole face, from the little wrinkles in her forehead, to laugh lines that scrunched up in joy on her cheeks. Bella was one of those girls that never begged for attention the way that the other females at their college did. They pranced around in full faces of makeup, short skirts and shirts with strategic cuts to maximize their cleavage, and don't get him wrong, he enjoyed the cleavage. But there was something so fake about it. Sure, many of them were a good lay, and easy to get, but they never meant anything. He had yet to meet a girl at that college that he wanted to talk to more than Bella.

But Bella was a study of contrasts. For every girl that wore a full face of makeup, Bella kept her face scrubbed bare, her natural blush colouring her ivory skin most of the day. Her dark hair was lush, a thick chestnut colour with shots of gold and copper through it, and her thick eyelashes framed her eyes. Oh man, her eyes. She had the kindest, warmest eyes; a chocolate brown that melted him every time he looked into them. She lived in his sweatshirts, and soccer shorts and leggings. Always looking as if she could fall asleep any minute. And she wore her damn Birkenstocks almost every day, her toes painted dark purple, peeking out of the top.

It had happened slowly. They had known each other since they were kids, constantly seeing each other around town. The cop's daughter and the general surgeon's son. It was inevitable that they would have to talk in their class of 12 on their first day of kindergarten. She had ditched the class to go kick a soccer ball around the field and when he saw her sprinting away from the teacher dribbling a soccer ball with her tiny feet, that was it. He was enamoured.

Years later, they had drifted apart as they went to different high schools and then found each other again at college, where they found themselves in the same degree. She was everything he had remembered; charming, with that quiet confidence that had her kicking his ass in every class they shared. They hung out at each other's houses almost every day, pulling study sessions until midnight, sunset drives to viewpoints and he made her mojitos every chance he could because she was hilarious when she was tipsy. She got drunk off of the tiniest drink, and her laughter when she was tipsy was contagious. She never drank to the point of no return, but she knew how to have fun and they always shared their deepest secrets with each other when they were drunk. That's how he knew she hadn't been kissed throughout high school, and that she wanted to live in a tiny blue house one day with a big family, and that she always felt like an underachiever, even though she was the smartest person he knew. They told each other everything about each other, but never under the scrutiny of the day, no, these reveal sessions always occurred under the glow of a sunset, or at his kitchen table at 1am, when the memories were just a bit blurred, and the recollections were always sweet.

He heard a door slam, and a bag get thrown down to the floor with a thump. "Edward bro! Where are you?"

He sighed again, glancing towards the window. Bella would have to wait for tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella took slow, deep breaths. In the spring, the lilac bushes that grew out of control in front of Charlies place spilt the most remarkable, heavy perfume into the air and when she opened her window, the smell just poured into the room, swirling around and breathing life into the drab room.

It had been a weird few weeks. It was as if the three musketeers weren't so all for one and one for all anymore. Edward was working full time for a paving company, and when he did have time to hang out, she saw a constant parade of girls and Emmett on his social media. It wasn't like she couldn't pick up the phone to call him, but there was something that felt so needy about that, as if he was doing better than she was.

Bella sighed, with Edward, it always felt like after the semester ended he stopped showing up. All of their midnight meetings ended, and they rarely was each other until the semester started up again. A friendship of convenience for him.

And Alice… well Alice had disappeared. As soon as she started dating Jasper, it was as if he was in every aspect of her life. And Bella missed her best friend. They had been inseparable for nearly 10 years, and now Jasper was a jarring, sudden change in that dynamic, a flaw in their perfectly woven tapestry. Bella and Alice were a system, one that was now broken by change.

Speaking of… Bella's phone started ringing from across the room.

"Hello?"

"Bella! Hey! Can I come over today?"

Bella smiled, and her heart lifted up a tiny bit.

"Yes! Come over!"

Alice giggled, "I'm at your front door, I'll see you in a second!"

Bella sighed and laughed as she heard Alice thundering up the stairs, stopping only to shout a quick "hello!" to Charlie.

Alice whirled around the corner and into Bella's bedroom, a bundle of tulle, and energy and thrust a coffee cup in Bella's face. "Drink all of this!" She demanded, rifling through Bella's scarf collection, flinging silk and wool everywhere.

Watching Alice was like watching a young puppy- they explode with energy and run around you in circles and then eventually get bored and come to sit on your lap. Her movements got slower and slower, until she was just slowly wrapping scarves absentmindedly around her arms and biting on her lip thoughtfully.

"Alice?" Bella asked, amused.

"Mhmm?"

"What are you thinking about?"

Alice looked up at her, her big eyes undecipherable.

"Are you mad at me?" Alice asked softly.

Bella stared at her, wondering where it was coming from. "No! Why would you think that?"

"It's just, I don't know, it feels like we haven't seen each other in forever. And it's weird. I don't think I like it."

Bella bit her lip, "I didn't think you had time for me anymore. You've been so busy."

Alice looked up, defense already burning bright in her eyes.

"So have you! You work everyday!"

"Alice, we hardly see each other. But we don't even talk anymore. We used to talk almost every night and since… well, it's just been a while since we've talked." Bella stared at her unflinchingly. Normally she would shy away from a fight like this, and do whatever she could to appease Alice, but she could feel her slipping away. Almost as if Bella had been replaced and that scared the hell out of her.

"Is this about Jasper? Is that what you meant? Don't think I haven't noticed Bella, you haven't said two words to me since I started dating Jasper. I thought you liked him?" Alice said defiantly, watching Bella with a look in her eyes that was almost, sadness?

Bella looked back at Alice carefully, weighing her words in her mind.

"It's not that I don't like Jasper, it's just that, well, ever since you started dating him it's been all about him."

Alice stared at her. "What the hell does that mean? It's not all about him!"

"Alice… Every conversation we have is about him! We talk about his favourite foods, and what he likes you to wear, and what he's taking in school… I know more about this guy than Edward!"

Alice's brow furrowed. "That's not true."  
Bella laughed, "Seriously Alice? He's absolutely everywhere. There isn't a single aspect of your life that he isn't involved with. Your dad has dinners with him, he comes to all of our trips to the cabin, and he's been at your place every time I've come over for the last 2 months. I don't know, it just feels like you aren't you without him."

Bella stepped back and if she wasn't so frustrated she would have laughed. Alice was standing in front of her, all 4 feet and 11 inches, with her hands on her hips and her face in an angry glare.

"How could you be mad? I'm happy Bella! I'm finally happy! I'm happier than I've been in a long time, happier than when my mom died."

Bella's tone becoming more somber all of a sudden. "It's just, I mean…" Her heart caught in her throat, and she swallowed thickly.

"I promise I'm not mad." She forced out. "I just feel left behind. I mean, Edward's always with some girl and you have Jasper now and I just feel like I'm being left behind somewhere by myself. Like you guys are moving forward into some space that I can't occupy."

Alice looked at Bella strangely, the anger fading from her face.

"What do you mean, leaving you behind? I would never leave you behind anywhere. Me being with Jasper doesn't change our friendship."

"I know that." Bella said, biting her lip. "But it does. I'm 22 years old and I just feel like I've miss it, like somehow everyone's leaving on a train without me. And I love that you're with Jasper, he's a great guy- but it just makes me sad that it's not the two of us anymore. Do you realize, that every single major trip we've planned for the next year has included Jasper? Even our Europe trip… _Europe_ Alice, has now been changed to include Jasper."

Alice looked away guiltily.

"I'm just not ready to lose my best friend."


	4. Chapter 4

BPOV

It was one of those rare, hot, sunny days in Forks. The sun beat down heavily onto the Earth, the heat making the air taste thick as cotton, and you could feel the heat waves radiating into your very core. Bella had been surprised to hear from Edward at first, but after learning that Carlisle and Esme were out of town and that his course selection was arriving soon for the fall semester, she understood why she was being summoned over to the Cullen place.

She sighed deeply, upset with herself that she cared this much over a stupid invitation. But she was disappointed. It was been months since she had seen him and she heard from him once and that was to use her for her brain, not just to hang out with her. She had half a mind to just say screw it and take different classes this year, but she did honestly love having classes with his goofy self. He lightened up long lectures and helped her be the responsible one.

They each had a role. He was the reckless, loud, life loving one and she was steady. She was the one that would bail them out of jail, that would watch them skinny dipping on a beach from the shore, the moonlight bathing her in her responsibility and the one that would convince them to work at his kitchen table while he pleaded with her to go run out together and get milkshakes instead.

Responsible. That's what she was. But responsible is a slippery concept, one that can quickly be intertwined with boring, no fun and killjoy.

And how often she was reminded of that.

EPOV

Edward bit his lip, concentrating on rolling the joint in front of him. His hands were shaking as he observed the girl in front of him through his eyelashes. She was so unassuming, curled up into the patio chair, with the tiniest shorts ever, her hair all tangled and shiny and a white tank top that showcased her slightly tanned skin from spending so much time outdoors. It suited her, he liked this slightly wild version of her.

Bella had come over in their annual tradition of choosing classes together. He honestly didn't know how he would get through his degree without her, her sarcastic comments and brains got them through many late night study sessions.

In true Bella fashion, she had concocted a perfect schedule that only had them in school three days a week, not too early in the morning and all of their classes together.

"Gunna smoke this one with me?" He teased her gently.

Her lips curved up into a smile, "Of course not, just like the last 1000 times you've asked me."

He smirked at her, and his mouth moved faster than his brain. "Come 'on, don't be a prude. Live a little!"

He felt the words fall back onto him as soon as he said them, Bella's gentle smile falling and her shoulders set a little more rigidly.

"I think I'm going to go back inside and watch this stupidity from in there where there's no smoke." She turned and slipped back into the living room, and out of the heat.

"Damnit!" Edward muttered, snuffing out the joint and chasing her back inside.

"Come on Bella, I didn't mean it like that." He strode into the living room, grabbing her shoulder to try and see her face.

"I know, its fine." She said softly, refusing to turn around.

"Bella." Edward sighed, wrapping his arms around her from the back, leaning into her warm body. She hummed, and pressed into him ever so slightly. She was wound up tightly, ready to spring away from him at any moment.

"I'm not a prude." She said quietly. "I just don't do drugs and I never have any intention to. Alice is always saying it would help with my anxiety, and I'm sure that it would, but I don't know, there's something that just seems so wrong about it."

He sighed, breathing in her hair. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to, don't let anyone let you believe otherwise. Don't listen to me, I'm just an asshole."

She laughed slightly, "You're not an asshole. You're just, a baby asshole."

"I'm sorry Bell."

"It's just not funny anymore Eddie." She said, her voice sounded clogged and upset.

He cringed slightly at his nickname, she was the _only_ person in the world allowed to call him that and only because it was her.

"I know." He said softly. "I didn't mean it. I was just teasing."

In the next room a door slammed open with gusto.

"Edward man! Where are you?"

"Shit." Edward murmured, letting go of Bella and turning quickly to face Emmett, pushing Bella behind him ever so slightly. She flopped onto the couch, sinking into the cushions.

Emmett's eyebrows waggled slightly as he came into the room, his eyes sweeping the environment but blessedly he had the decency not to say anything. He looked past Edward and broke into a wide grin.

"Bella! Good to see you girl!"

Edward looked back as she smiled, a slight blush covering her cheeks.

"Hi Emmett." She said quietly, a big smile directed at the gentle giant.

Edward had seen and heard a fair bit about the girls that Emmett… entertained… but he had to admit, it seemed like Emmett had always had a soft spot towards Bella. She was the only one on earth allowed to eat some of his French fries, and play her own music in his car. She could make Emmett laugh all the time, even when he was in one of his moods, beat him in a soccer 1v1 and she was the only girl ever that Emmett had never tried to fuck.

"So what's going on kids?" Emmett asked, flopping down onto the couch, making the pillows bounce onto the ground and causing Bella to giggle.

"I'm just heading out." Bella said, smiling a bit wider now, gracefully unfolding herself from the couch.

"Awe really Swan? So soon? I just got here- the party's just begun!"

She laughed, "Sorry bud, I'm out of here. Got report cards to write!"

Edward watched her go quietly. She walked towards the door, looking back at him for only a moment before letting herself out gently, slipping back into the heat,

"Dude. Are you kidding me?" Emmett was staring at him in disbelief from his spot on the couch.

"What?"

"Why don't you just tell her?" Emmett was staring at him like he was dumb.

"I don't know man. We're finally such good friends. I don't want to ruin anything that we have. Besides, you know the guys would give me hell for it."

Emmett stared at him somberly. "Dude, then you don't deserve her."

Edward sighed. That was the problem. He knew that.


	5. Planes of the Universe

**CHAPTER FIVE**

 **Planes of the Universe**

 _Hello everyone! So I rarely do authors notes, but I wanted to acknowledge and thank all my reviewers. Every last one of you! You guys are the ones that are pushing me to keep writing and finish this story and I read and appreciate every single review you guys leave! Life has been super busy and way too stressful this semester, but it's finally slowing down and I'm crossing my fingers that I'll have time to finish this story sometime soon!_

 _On a side note- I wanted to acknowledge some of the concern I've been receiving about this story turning into a playboy Edward wins over a shy, pining, Bella story and to all those readers, please hang on and have faith! Bella is going to have a strong backbone and self confidence, but it'll take a while to get there! I think like all of us, it's going to take Bella a little while to figure out how important she really is and how to not settle for anything less than she deserves. And in the future I'm hoping to turn some hearts into some love for Edward. He's not a bad guy, he's just confused and doesn't know how to treat Bella like she deserves._

 _Thanks for hanging in there, and here we go for another installment of Bella and Edward!_

 **EPOV**

Edward pulled up to Bella's house and peered out his window. He saw Bella peeking frantically out her curtains and laughed, honking lightly on the horn.

She came running out a couple seconds later, droplets flying out of her wet hair, clinging around her head like a wet mop, in leggings and a thin t-shirt. Her backpack was stuffed to the brim and flung over her shoulder and she was cradling a water bottle, notebook and jacket in her arms. She tumbled into the car, stuffing it full with herself, and he looked over at her and laughed.

"What?" She asked, staring back at him, her eyes glowing from her short run out the door.

"Nothing." He said, smirking, staring at her out of the corner of his eye.

"I mean, do you think you have enough stuff in your bag?" He asked her teasingly, watching her reaction.

She blushed hard, smiling widely. "I need all of this stuff you asshole! We have three different classes today!" She exclaimed.

"I don't know how you do it. How do you manage to carry so much shit with you?" He was lucky if he remembered to bring the right notebooks with him to his classes.

"It's just my different binders and a lunch! And I'm not managing." She said laughing. "You know my neck is still completely messed up right now from that soccer game. I had to book in a couple chiropractor appointments with Emmett's dad just to stop the headaches."

That's right. He had forgotten that her neck was giving her so much pain. She had gone from being bubbly and happy to sullen and irritable for about a week after it happened. He had done everything he could to avoid her for that short while.

Bella sighed and he looked over. She was rubbing her neck with her small fingers, as if trying to ease the tension and he resisted the urge to reach over and place a comforting hand on her neck.

"You okay?" He asked?

"Yeah I'm fine." She said, with a soft sigh. "Hey Ed? Did you get _your_ neck checked?"

"Bugger off!" He said laughing.

He had been an idiot and slammed his head into the doorframe a couple weeks prior, hard enough to black out for a couple seconds. Ever since he had had really bad neck and back pain, just like her. But unlike Bells, he hadn't done anything about it except pretend it wasn't there.

"You're going to hurt it more!" She chastised him softly.

He smiled sheepishly, flicking his turning signal on to turn into the highway.

"I'll be okay Bells, you know me."

"I do know you! Which is why I know you won't go to the doctor!" She reprimanded him. But he didn't even have to look at her to know she was smiling. He could feel it in her voice.

Emmett was right, he had been in love with her since he met her. But she was brightness, and he was, well, he liked to think he was a particular shade of grey. He wasn't dumb, he knew that he didn't deserve her but he wanted to. But she was good, almost pure, and he was constantly pulling her into situations that she didn't want to be in, and every time he saw that apprehensive look on her face, he knew it.

Picking her up though, was something he could do for her and it was starting to become one of his favourite past times. He lived for those twenty minutes in the car when they debated life, caught each other up with what was happening, and when he had twenty minutes of her undivided attention. For twenty minutes, she was the only thing in the entire world.

"Are you ready for the English quiz today?" He asked.

"Aghhh." She sank back into the sleep, closing her eyes. "Not even close to being ready!"

"But I thought you studied all night?"

He glanced over at here at a stop sign, and her face was staring sheepishly back.

"Yeah, I fell asleep on my study couch last night."

He threw his head back laughing. "Classic! What a Bella move."

She smiled. "I'm here to serve."

And with that, she reached over and turned the music up. She smiled at him, before turning and gazing out her open window, the wind blowing her hair all over, and sunlight dancing across her face.

And all he could do was stare. And marvel at how they ended up in the same plane of the universe.


	6. Midnight Truths and Tequila

**BPOV**

"Bells! Let's go! We still have to grab snacks on the way home!" Edward yelled out his window at her, already in his car and waiting for her.

"I'm coming!" She called. Then paused. And realized what she had just yelled across the damn parking lot, at a boy that yes, was arguably more mature than his classmates, but was still a guy with a guy's sense of humour.

She looked back at him, laughing slightly at the prominent smirk on his face.

Oh yeah. He knew what she said.

Bella smiled as she walked towards Edward. It had been forever since they had hung out with just the three musketeers. They had just finished all their finals last week and had been waiting for Alice to catch up and finish hers too. They had promised each other they would get together, because they hadn't all been together since, well, since July really.

So she and Edward were heading straight home after classes today to set up his basement the same way they did every time they got together. Bella made sure that pillows and blankets covered the floor, every snack imaginable was at hand and the fridge was stocked full of beer for Edward and Moscato for her and Alice. And tequila and vodka was always a staple that rounded off their alcohol consumption.

….

"Chips or chocolate chip cookies?" Edward asked, holding up both for inspection. The glow of the grocery store lights lighting up his messy hair. Between his hair, his plaid shirt, and his striped black track pants, he was seriously reminding her of the ten-year-old version of himself.

Bella smirked, "are you asking me? Or telling me that we're getting both?"

Edwards's mouth fell open in mock indignation, "I'm asking!" He protested.

"Mhmm." Bella left it at that, watching his sheepish smile as he threw them both in the shopping cart.

"Come on!" She sang out, taking the opportunity to grab his hand, his palm warm in hers, and lead him to the ice cream aisle.

She laughed, throwing her head back at the look on Edwards' face when he was faced with the multitude of flavours.

"Come on man! Alice is already on her way! Pick your favourite and let's go!" She scolded, grinning after watching him stare blankly at the coolers for a couple minutes.

"Has anyone ever told you you're super annoying?" Edward grumbled.

"Yes, you do. Every day." She replied with a laugh.

They gathered up everything they needed, filling a couple of shopping baskets and for a brief second Bella let herself imagine this kind of life. Of grocery shopping with him, maybe for a family, or maybe just for them. And allowing herself to embrace this silliness of throwing grapes at each other across the produce aisles and Edward filling the cart with every single crappy thing in the store and her emptying it when he wasn't looking, setting up their inevitable bickering at the cashier.

It was a couple's life. A life she only let herself imagine for a brief while before remembering that this was Edward. She wasn't a stupid fool, she was under no false pretenses that he was out of her league. She was good enough for him. But he just simply didn't like her like that. They could fool around in the grocery store, and she was sure that people around them would assume they were a couple, but they weren't. And that was always very clear between the two of them.

Edward had a type, and it wasn't her. And that just had to be okay.

….

"Bella! Alice just texted that she's here." Edward yelled from upstairs, where he was gathering blankets. He always made sure to find every blanket imaginable for her, because he knew that she loved nothing more than fuzzy socks and being wrapped in a blanket.

"Alice!" Bella unfolded her legs from their crisscrossed position on the floor and got up to hug her friend, wrapping her up in the fuzzy blanket she had been sitting with.

Even though she wasn't Jasper's biggest fan, she still loved Alice. That was partially why she had such a hard time accepting Jasper. It was partly because of how he occupied Alice and partly because of his indifference to her. He never made an effort to say hi to her or acknowledge her presence. He lacked the manners and good graces that Edwards had, mainly from Esme installing them into him. Bella hadn't opened a single door in months. When she was with Edward, he always managed to get ahead of her and usher her through the door.

Speaking of, she saw Edward approaching the girls hug out of the corner of her eye.

"Hey Edward!" Alice chirped. "What's up?"

He smiled, joining them in their group hug. Squeezing the life out of them before throwing himself back down on the couch.

"Aghhh Alice." Edward sighed. "We had the longest day today." He explained.

Bella smirked, "You mean, we had a couple of classes today and you fell asleep in all of them?" She teased him.

"Yes okay, I do mean that." He explained indignantly. "And now I need a drink."

"Hear hear!" Alice chimed in, going over and grabbing bottles out of the fridge.

Bella sighed and rolled her eyes. It seemed like it was always an immediate drinking party when these two got together.

"What are we drinking to this time?" She asked with a sigh.

"To being done this semester!" Alice shouted, pouring large shots.

Bella smiled wryly, "Tequila?" She asked, pointing at the shot glasses.

"You know it babe!"

Edward wrinkled his nose and Bella laughed. "I forgot how much you hated tequila!"

"I mean seriously Alice? It had to be tequila? It couldn't have been vodka, or whiskey or gin, or hell, even beer?" He pleaded.

"Nope! Bella's favourite is tequila so tonight we shall tequila!" Alice said with a smirk.

"Suck it up Eddie!" Bella teased him, inwardly smiling at the awkward blush that stained his cheeks, pleased that she could still get under his skin.

He smiled at her, rolling his eyes and brought his shot glass up, saluting them, before downing it quickly.

She followed suit, relishing in the warm burn that followed the alcohol down her throat.

….

Hours later, with a belly full of chocolate icing and brownies, she sat with Alice in the darkened basement, the only light consisting of the flickering TV. Edward had passed out on the couch beside them and she and Alice were sitting quietly, side by side, just relishing in the first true moments of peace and quiet since the semester had started.

The semester had passed in a whirl of papers and exams and cramming sessions. The last month of school she and Edward had basically been living at each other's houses as they crammed and wrote what felt like a never-ending pile of papers. But Alice, they occasionally saw her at school studying with Jasper, but that had been it. Bella was supposed to have gone up to Alice's cabin several times through the semester, but every time it seemed to fall through.

"So what's new with you? I feel like we haven't talked in forever!" Alice asked her.

"Not much, just been so busy this semester!" Bella replied, feeling her stomach twisting. She hadn't told Alice about Embry and her summer yet. She had briefly mentioned that she was going on a date, but the lack of excitement from Alice about it had discouraged her from talking about it further. It had been almost five months since she had truly spoken to Alice about anything, and Bella couldn't believe how much of her life now didn't involve Alice.

"How did your exams go?" Alice asked, looking over at Bella in the darkened room.

"They were okay," Bella replied, with a bit of a sigh. "I wish I had studied a bit harder, but I was working so much at the pool that it got to be a bit overwhelming. How were yours?"

"They were good!" Alice replied happily. "My biology one was a bit of a shit show and the prof put an entire section on that he promised he wouldn't, but whatever. I'm just really glad they're over!"

"Me too," Bella said, with a serene smile.

They sat in silence again, the flickering TV providing the only distraction from the heavy weight of the quiet. Bella sat there, feeling her summer creeping back up to her, and she wanted to share with Alice so badly, but she honestly didn't know how Alice would react. Everyone at the pool knew about her pseudo-romance with Embry, but Alice was someone that mattered. Someone that had known her for her whole life. And by any indication of when she had told Alice about the date, she didn't have very high hopes about Alice being supportive or helpful.

Bella glanced over at the sleeping form of her best friend. Edward was passed out on the couch and seemed to be completely out of it which was good. She didn't want him to hear any of this. They didn't share much of their personal lives. Their friendship consisted of school and adventures and they had an unspoken mutual agreement to not share any of their romantic lives, not that she had much of a life but that was beside the point.

She took a deep breath.

"Alice?"

"Mhmm?"

"Remember I briefly mentioned that I was going on a date earlier this summer?"

"Oh yeah, how did that go?" Alice's tone wasn't disinterested, but she wasn't bubbling over as Bella had hoped she would.

"Well I went on the date with him and it was amazing. We went for dinner and he paid, and then we went for a walk and ice cream. And I just really liked him Alice."

"That's nice Bells." Alice's voice was distracted, almost placating.

Bella blinked. She had been expecting some level of disinterest. But this was unbelievable.

"Alice, can you focus for a second? I need advice."

Alice turned and finally looked at Bella, traces of exasperation on her face. Bella followed the contours of the stress on Alice's face curiously. They used to talk like this all the time, for hours on the phone and in person. What had happened to Alice? Why was she so distant these days?

"We went on dates all summer. Or I thought they could be dates. And then I saw him almost every week during the semester and I finally asked him if they were dates and he said yes? But then I never really heard from him again!" Bella exploded out, glad she was finally sharing with Alice.

"Well, I mean, did you kiss him? How far did it go between you guys?"

Bella blinked, "we never kissed, and that's partly why I was never sure what we were. He didn't even hold my hand Allie. It was so strange. We went out all the time, and he paid all the time but he never made any sort of move."

"Honestly Bell, it sounds like you just got ghosted," Alice said matter of factly.

Bella paused. She had considered this. But Embry was her friend, before anything else.

"But _Embry_? I mean, I've known him my entire life."

"Wait, it was Embry?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, I mean, I told you that, didn't I?"

"You didn't say it was Embry. He's a weirdo, honestly Bells, I wouldn't worry about it. You guys didn't even kiss. I'm sure it's nothing. Just talk to him like nothing happened."

"He's not weird!" Bella protested, starting to get pissed at Alice. Doubt and regret setting in at having brought this up. She could feel Alice's dismissive nature tinging on her memories of Embry. As if they were kept in a special box and Alice's dark smoke was creeping in, staining the edges.

"Hey Bells, did I tell you about what Jasper did for me last week?"

And that was that.

Bella felt as though she had stepped back, preparing to jump off a bridge, and she had taken the step, taken the leap. And then she blinked and was suddenly back to the beginning. It was as if she and Alice had never talked. As if it didn't matter.

It hurt. It wasn't the biggest news in the world, frankly, she and Embry hadn't even kissed. It was nothing. Bella was equal parts hurt, and equal parts pissed.

This was big for her. Bella didn't date. She was practical. Steady. She stayed behind, always content to watch, but never to participate. This had been a whole summer of something. And Alice had moved on as if it was nothing. And in the world of Alice and Jasper, she guessed it was like nothing.

But the problem was, to her it was the world. And to Alice, this was a tiny blip on the radar. And Bella didn't know how to expand it. Or if she wanted to anymore.

…..

Bella opened her eyes sleepily, confused at how dark it was and why she was moving. She didn't recognize the blanket she was wrapped in, or where she was. The last thing she remembered was talking with Alice on the couch in the basement. But she didn't seem to be in the basement anymore.

She was in someone's arms, and they were moving up a set of stairs. She breathed in, recognizing Edwards scent, but she wasn't sure why he was carrying her somewhere. He nudged a door open with his foot and through her sleepy eyes she began to see the features of the room, recognition setting in at the grey walls, and the slightly messy nature of Edwards's room. He set her down gently in his bed, making sure to tuck the fuzzy blanket around her.

Overwhelming her with the amount of care he took in his task and the enfolding scent of Edward that wrapped around her as he tucked her in. She stayed still, the drowsiness keeping her awake presence unknown. She felt a slight dip of the bed as Edward leaned over her, gently kissing her on the forehead with a tenderness that almost made her tear up.

"Goodnight Bells." He whispered softly, before turning and padding out of the room, gently closing the door.


End file.
